The Moment I Woke Up Lost

The first moment I woke up, it took a few minutes of looking around before I could put it together. It didn't feel like it was the first time I had been there, in this bed, looking out this window, that mountain, that sky, that tree standing in front of the house. It didn't feel like it was the first time, but I was pretty sure it was. I remembered a lot of things. I remembered the brothel Boston, I remembered my trip down to New Mexico when the mountain lion jumped in front of the car, and I remembered my first time parachuting into a foreign country. And I remembered the drugs, the experiment, the role that my superiors had in pretending that they were scientists when they were not.

Now I am waking up again. This time the window has a different view, but the feeling is the same. In fact, another mountain, another tree, but more wind in the branches than I have ever seen. There are two men outside my door. I don't believe that they are friendly. They are standing with their arms crossed like weapons. I've seen this before, but never from inside the room. Generally I know how to get along with these sort of people, but these two, they are difficult. Determined.
Time and time again, I go to the door and talk with them.
"Larry, your name is Larry, right? Do you mind if I call you Larry, Larry? I would call you by your proper name were you not so intimidating and stern. You know fellas, I have really nothing against you, and I think you know that there is, for whatever reason they are telling you to contain me as such, really no good reason you are here."
I was getting drunk.
"Larry, David, are you David? No, much more of a ... Nelson?...Tyrell?...Maximilion?... I assure you, these are lies."
And I felt that I was telling the truth, but no matter what I said, they were not be cracked.
"Perhaps if you'd join me for a drink."
I offered. I conversed, I gave them my most thorough family history and background that I could recall, and finally, after seven hours, finally a crack. At approximately 9:49 PM, Maximilion Tyrell and Larry turned and said..."Ok, we get it. You like to talk."
"Not really. But I also know that if I go back to looking out the window, the two people who have the most hope of helping me out of here will not. They will sit sternfaced and determined, and so, I continue as though you were my jury. I need a jury, but I need a truly fair, and intelligent jury, because the jury they are going to provide me with is not going to see anything of the real picture, and they are never going be given a chance to hear my most genuine explanation because they are not going to let me offer my explanation. No, the things they are going to let out of me are going to be nothing close to the truth. I've been too many places, and seen too many things for them to let me open my mouth in a public institution. I belong to one institution and one institution only. And you both fucking no what I am talking about. You can both see yourselves in my position some day."
At this point I was feeding their egos, but I really did need permission to leave that room, to leave that building and get away to somewhere I could think, clear my mind. The drugs were fading quickly, but I felt light headed, and foggy, foggier by the second. And it worked.